I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
