Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
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