i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
