so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
