Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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