Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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