Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
wow bdsm is so cute
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
