you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
