It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
