you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
