proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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