I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
