I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
