just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
