i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
