just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
