dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
