too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
