She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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