Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
