Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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