we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
