Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
