This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
