he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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