Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
