you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
40s are totally the cure
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
