He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
