I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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