You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
