Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
