At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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