You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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