the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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