her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
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