HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
