he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
