I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
