Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
