Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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