My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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