Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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