i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
