I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
