You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
