i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
