just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
