you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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