quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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