Don't make out with my wife yet
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
