So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
