hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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