Fine. I'll sleep in my office
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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