Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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