soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
