She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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