No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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