some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
