I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
