I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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